I Don't Want Any Plastics!

Like many families, the Smiths sit down each Christmas season and watch the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. By now we are able to recite most of the lines from the movie by memory.

It’s what I call an “anchor” movie – one that reminds you not to drift away from the important things in life. Many men can relate to George Bailey’s desire to shake off the dirt of this crummy old place and seek great adventure. After all, we cannot be stifled by the old “Building and Loan” of our lives. We have dreams. We must pursue the desires of our heart.

“Now you listen to me! I don't want any plastics! I don't want any ground floors, and I don't want to get married — ever — to anyone! You understand that? I want to do what I want to do.”

And no sooner than George blurts out the desire of his heart, he gives in to that siren call of Mary Hatch and wrecks on the rocks of commitment, unfulfilling work, and family stress. He evolves from a dreamer of adventure and achievement to a settled life of discontent. As one child after another is born into the Bailey household the pressures mount and his dreams fade. The spark in his eye is gone.

I used to have dreams. They are now dead.

Don’t get me wrong. I have lead an amazing life and am thankful for every opportunity I’ve been granted. I have been in the presence of presidents and kings. I have traveled to foreign lands where I have been treated to great hospitality. I have rubbed elbows with celebrities, business leaders and the wealthy. I have fought battles for great causes and know the taste of victory and defeat. It has been a good and rewarding life. But there is often the temptation to focus on what we have not done and do not have instead of the blessings. It is the curse of discontentment.

I used to have dreams. They are now dead.

I can relate to the elation of George lassoing a stork. I’ve lassoed a stork five times. My children have provided me with a stew of joy, pain, inconvenience and fulfillment. When we added the third child to our brood, Karen and I had to switch from man-to-man defense to a zone defense. It wasn’t easy. They were noisy, messy and difficult to control.

We also endured the regular comments from friends with fewer or no children. We made choices which ensured that our lives would be full of inconvenience, uncertainty and chaos. Four of our five children are now adults. So far they show no signs of lasting damage, despite God putting them in the care of two totally unprepared parents. Actually, other than their weird behavior and strange social skills, they function adequately. I’ll take that as a success story.

They can also be a pain in the neck. When I was 21 years old I knew I wanted children, but I did not bargain for the ongoing struggles. One man with younger children asked me recently, “When do you stop parenting?” I’m sure he was looking for any words of encouragement that someday in the future he would be relieved of duty. I told him that the choice was up to him. Many fathers never start parenting. Others stop parenting long before their children are ready to lead a rudderless life. I told him that I personally had decided to never stop parenting my children. Although my parenting will go through stages, I never plan to disengage. Even when my children form their own families, I’ll be there to annoy them with unwanted advice and counsel. It is my destiny.

Speaking of destiny, you’ve got to wonder if Alfalfa was disappointed that his acting career descended to the point that Zuzu had a larger role in “It’s a Wonderful Life”. But I digress.

Harry Bailey had fame. Henry Potter had fortune. Yet, George Bailey became the “richest” man in town. I’ve been into genealogy for the past few years. I enjoy studying my ancestors and the legacy they have passed along. It’s an interesting list of saints and scoundrels. I’ve visited more than a few cemeteries in my search for answers. One thing is clear: the engraved words on their tombstones eventually fade into nothing. The lesson of George Bailey’s visit to the cemetery is penetrating - an individual’s impact on the lives of others wins out over words etched in stone. Our legacy to our children and grandchildren should not be measured in dollars, degrees and deeds.

Sometimes it is hard to focus on the bigger things in life when you are changing diapers, cutting coupons and trying to keep your car on the road. Families with lots of kids can seem to live on the ragged edge. There is often disorder. They are regularly late and often seem frazzled. Who would want that kind of life? You call that a happy family? Why did they have to have all those kids? Those stinking kids have a way of messing with your life don’t they?

I used to have dreams. They are now dead.
But, let me share the rest of the story. I have new dreams. I have better dreams. The desires of my heart have changed. I am still not the husband or father that I should be, but I have no doubts about my desire to get there.

“It’s a Wonderful Life” is cheesy and sentimental. As the whole town, sans Potter, crowds into George and Mary’s home to dump dollar bills and coins onto the table, with Cousin Eustace furiously punching the calculator, we are tempted to think of the joy associated with having loyal friends who help us meet our needs. While that is certainly part of the message, I always find the greater joy from the moments before the display of generosity from family and friends. It is the moment that George “gets it” – the moment the lightbulb goes off in his foggy brain. It is the moment of clarity. The beauty comes when his least concern is the money, the jail cell or the tarnished reputation. It is when he pleads for God to return his life and family to him. It is the joy that enables him to run through the streets of Bedford Falls in uncontrolled joy – even with the knowledge that he is about to be arrested on false charges of embezzlement. For me, the joy is most evident when he runs into his home and is met by the sheriff, whom George greets with, “I bet you're here to arrest me, I'm going to jail, isn't it wonderful!” It’s when his children swarm him on the staircase as he smothers them with hugs and kisses - the furthest thing from his mind being gifts, money and iron bars.

In one evening George Bailey is transformed from a man who asks “You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?” to a man desperate for their embrace.

It has always been revealing to see the snow begin to fall when George stops appealing to Clarence the angel and prays for God to let him live again. As we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, our true anchor, my wish for my friends and family is that you will truly live again. That your old dreams are replaced with better dreams – even if the change brings pain and struggle. I pray that the desire of our hearts turns from self to others. May you see clearly. May you see that you really have a wonderful life.